She believed she could, so she did. A cancer patient journey

 My scan results have come back and while they weren't the results I was hoping for they could have been worse. There are the two spots still but they have shrunk so that's a plus. She says the treatment is working and that I will just stay on it indefinitely for now. That of course can change if/when we get to the point that there is no longer any cancer. So while I am not thrilled and was more than a little upset originally, I have come to terms with it and accepted it. Keep pushing forward and keep hoping for the best. She has scheduled my next scan for August so keeping fingers crossed that there is more shrinkage of the tumors by then. 

 I have an upcoming pet scan scheduled for this week. So instead of anxiety in the cancer world it's called scanxiety. Being anxious of what the outcome of the petscan will be. I'm not overly anxious or nervous. By now it's a bit of a normal for me. The waiting. The wondering. Having the scan done. I'm not saying that it isn't stressful, the waiting, because it is. But to me it's just the norm now. Along with all the poking and prodding. As always though I am hopeful that this scan will show that the latest spot that lit up has either stayed the same or gone away. Either way, whatever the outcome will be, I will handle it the same way I have handled everything else so far. With positivity. Positivity with a little dash of meltdown here or there added in. Whatever the outcome, this is just another stop on my journey. Another page in this chapter.