3/3/2020: The day my battle begun

3/3/2020: That's the day that my battle begun.

" You have a maligant tumor in your espoghagus." Those were the first words my doctor told me when I woke up from having an endoscopy. A five minute procedure that changed my life and put me on the path that I am now on. Those are the words that changed my life. Not the words that you want to hear when you first come out of a procedure. Not the words that anybody wants to hear. By Friday I was in seeing the oncologist working out my treatment plan. The following three weeks I had a petscan done, a feeding tube, blood transfusion and port placed followed by my first round of chemo. As you can tell treatment can move fast.

Let's talk about my chemotherapy treatment for a moment. Four hours in office having two different chemotherapy drugs administered through my port followed by my friendly chemo pump, whom I named Tag since he gets to tag along with me for 46 hours administering a slow drip of medicine. I get to enjoy this treatment every other week. Right now I get to go through a 4 course treatment and then another petscan to see if the tumor is shrinking and decide what is next. Surgery or more chemo. More than likely it will be another course of 4 treatments of chemo. Lucky me! The side effects are just stellar and amazing. Nothing like tingling in your hands and feet, so tired that sweeping the floor you need to take an hour nap, and being face to face with the porcelain god. Do we need to talk about the unfortunate dirty penny taste left in my mouth? Or how whenever I pick something cold up it feels like I just got frost bite?

Most can probably guess that if they found a tumor in my espoghagus that I must have espoghagheal cancer. You would be correct. What an awful cancer to have. There is nothing like trying to eat and having to chuck it back up because you feel like you are choking. It is such a lovely experience. The weight loss from not being able to eat properly isn't so bad. At least until you realize that in a little over a month and a half you've lost 30lbs. At this rate by the time I am in remission I'll be skinner than my sister who is the size of a pencil.

Right now I have taken a leave of absence from work during the chemo treatment and then the whole corona virus. It just seemed like the best thing to do for my health. My sanity though on the other hand. Well most of you know how I am feeling on that front right now. I am trying to find things to keep me busy. Today my stepsister showed me how to crochet. I am starting with a beanie. My mom will be the proud recipient of said beanie and is going to rock that awfully made beanie proudly. I am sure by the time that I am done that most of my family and friends will have recieved a beanie and will too wear it proudly. Hidious looking things that I am sure they will look like.

I think that this is a good start for those of you that are following me on my journey. I know that I am going to have good days and bad. I already have had several of both. Tomorrow is another day and I am hoping to make it a good one.

Good night to you all!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Scanxiety

 I have an upcoming pet scan scheduled for this week. So instead of anxiety in the cancer world it's called scanxiety. Being anxious of what the outcome of the petscan will be. I'm not overly anxious or nervous. By now it's a bit of a normal for me. The waiting. The wondering. Having the scan done. I'm not saying that it isn't stressful, the waiting, because it is. But to me it's just the norm now. Along with all the poking and prodding. As always though I am hopeful that this scan will show that the latest spot that lit up has either stayed the same or gone away. Either way, whatever the outcome will be, I will handle it the same way I have handled everything else so far. With positivity. Positivity with a little dash of meltdown here or there added in. Whatever the outcome, this is just another stop on my journey. Another page in this chapter. 
Read more

Pet scan day

Today I went and had my next pet scan done. I have an appointment with my oncologist on Monday to get the results. I am trying not to dwell on them or to even think of it possibly not being the results that I want and hope for. That is hard to do sometimes though. I want the results to come back that the tumor has shrunk and that there is no sign of cancer left in my lymph nodes. I know that maybe that is a lot to ask for but I don't think it is. I am just praying for the best. I feel a little guilty for my post from yesterday. Again though I know I shouldn't. I am allowed to have my thoughts. My best friend read it and told me that while she isn't physically going through this and can't understand what it's like for me but she is here for me. Today I got flowers from her. I had sent out a group message to my family updating them on what is going on and this morning my sister Alexis sent me a text message asking if I had ordered the canvas I wanted with a picture of...
Read more

My next steps

 I met with the oncologist on Thursday and then saw my radiation doctor on Friday. I was given quite a bit of information. Nothing that I don't feel like I can't handle. I'll start with the oncologist. My oncologist I really like. I feel like he actually listens to what I am saying and wants to make sure that I am understanding everything that I am being told. He tells me that I am not a statistic but a person. Which is very reassuring to hear. It turns out that there is not a second cancer. My esophageal cancer did migrate to my brain. This is very rare. He said that he has only had this happen one other time. The treatment plan is to do radiation. If not then the chances of it coming back is 60% as where if we do radiation the chances are 10%. Of course there is chances that there are cells throughout my brain so I will have to have frequent MRI's to make sure that nothing is growing. Now onto the radiation doctor. He is a great guy too. He said because of how big the...
Read more