Pet scan day
Today I went and had my next pet scan done. I have an appointment with my oncologist on Monday to get the results. I am trying not to dwell on them or to even think of it possibly not being the results that I want and hope for. That is hard to do sometimes though. I want the results to come back that the tumor has shrunk and that there is no sign of cancer left in my lymph nodes. I know that maybe that is a lot to ask for but I don't think it is. I am just praying for the best. I feel a little guilty for my post from yesterday. Again though I know I shouldn't. I am allowed to have my thoughts. My best friend read it and told me that while she isn't physically going through this and can't understand what it's like for me but she is here for me. Today I got flowers from her. I had sent out a group message to my family updating them on what is going on and this morning my sister Alexis sent me a text message asking if I had ordered the canvas I wanted with a picture of my dogs on it. I hadn't yet because I don't have the money just yet and she said good because her and my other sister went half on it and ordered it for me to cheer me up. I know that they have their own lives and while they may not always call or text me to check on me I do know that they care and are thinking about me. The last thing I want to do is seem weak for texting or calling someone to complain. I know that I have the right to feel like that though. I'm not weak. This isn't an easy journey for anyone to go through. I am trying my best to make light of it as much as possible. I have always felt that if I laugh and joke and make light of what's going on that then this will be easier for everyone and that the results will work in my favor because I am not dwelling on the bad parts of it.
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