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 Day 257 of being held prisoner: That's how I feel sometime's. Mostly so when I am feeling halfway decent. Which lately I have been. Not saying that I don't have moments because I do. Boy oh boy do I. I still get sick a lot when I eat. I have been keeping track of what makes me sick and I am really leaning towards that I may need to eat snack type foods versus small meals. I made banana and apple chips and can handle those pretty well. Also cereal. Water is a must have for me. It seems to settle my stomach down. Granted the being sick isn't as bad as it was so my hopes is that eventually it'll all settle down. Every week gets better.  Hopefully by the end of the year I'll be able to eat half way normal again. 

I am going to start an immunotherapy called Opdivo. We are waiting to see if the compassionate care program will cover the cost of the drug because it's in phase 2 and 3 of trials. My oncologist told me that they have had very good success with it. I am going to have to stay on it for a year. Side effects aren't anything I haven't been through before so in all likelihood I'll be praying to the porcelain gods again. My oncologist is very optimistic about the outcome. She has been very optimistic the entire time though. So have I mostly. I'm not entirely thrilled to be doing treatment for another year. I was really hoping that by the end of the year that all treatment would be done and that I could close this chapter of my life. That's not the case though. I can't be upset about it though. Things happen. I'm still moving forward. I am feeling stronger all the time. Today I did a 2 mile walk. My goal is to be at 3 miles by the end of the month. I am tired come the end of the two miles. I start slowing down about a mile and a half. It'll take time but I'll get back to where I was. Probably just in time to start treatment again. That's how it's been going with the past treatment. 

I've been on the fence with what to do about work. I think it's time to start thinking about going back. I'm not sure if I should go back part time to the center or if I should look for another job. Maybe one from home. Part of me thinks I need to go back to the center. Even part time. Then I think what if this new treatment makes me sick. The owners really wanted me to concentrate on getting better. It's a lot to think about. I was planning on trying to return to the center the first week of December. I think either this week or next is going to be when I contact him and sit down to see what we are going to do. What my options might be. Part of me says that going back to work is me taking back one more piece of my life. At least that's how I would like to look at it. 

Just three more weeks till I get a week away from all of this. A week in a cabin away from reality. 

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