Radiation struggles 101

It's been a bit since I have taken the time to sit down and write here. That reason being I have started radiation as well as chemo and it really has kicked my ass. It has taken my exhaustion to a whole new level and has left me pretty much sleeping a lot of the time. Some days I don't even get out of bed. And if I do, I simply move to the couch and sleep there. I typically go out for treatment and then home. Over the past weekend, 4th of July weekend, I went over to my dads to help set up for the family get together on Friday and then on Saturday for the 4th. I spent the next two days straight in bed barely staying awake. By the end of the night on the 4th I was so exhausted I could barely function. It can get to be fairly frustrating and take a toll on you mentally. I have had to keep telling myself that this isn't permanent. I only have a week and a half of radiation left and one last chemo left. They said it'll take a few weeks for the radiation exhaustion to work its way out of my system. By that time though I should be heading into surgery. I suppose I'll know more about that in the next few weeks. I should be having an appointment with my oncologist coming up since my last chemo is next week. We are hoping that this is my last chemo that I will need. When they take the tissue and send it out to pathology after surgery they will have a better idea of if there is actually any cancer left and be able to give me more information. She said that it's likely I'll be in remission prior to surgery but that she wants me to prepare for that there may be more that hasn't lit up on the petscan yet. So obviously we are going to hope for the best. I'll be glad when I am not so exhausted anymore. I do have to go back to the oncologist tomorrow for a platelet show since my platelets are starting to drop. Which is to be expected when you are doing chemo. Everything else seems to be doing good though so they aren't worried but want to be proactive so that I don't end up struggling like I was before so badly. I had to force myself to come here and write down. I am really trying to journal all the things I am going through. To be able to look back and see everything. The struggles and the triumphs. I'd like to say what triumphs at this point but to be far, I have had several. I'm beating this cancer whereas a lot of people have a lot harder time. My problems aren't as bad as other people's. I guess I need to be thankful for that. And I am. Truthfully I believe that is because I have had so many people praying for me. I am not so sure this would have turned out the way that it has hadn't I had so many people in my corner. I think that's one thing that I can take with me on this journey is that I have seen how many people actually love me and are there for me. Sometimes it's hard because they ask what can they do to help and right now aside from being tired and struggling some to keep the house clean and walk the dogs there isn't much that I can't do. And even then I know that I just have to tackle something each day. A room, a dog, take a little help from someone coming and walking the dogs. It'll get easier and soon this whole thing will be nothing but a memory. 

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