To eat or not to eat? That is the question

I wonder if I am ever going to be able to eat normally again. I can't tell you how long it's been since I have had anything to eat without either having difficulty swallowing or throwing it back up. I know it's been a long time. I told myself starting chemo will shrink the tumor and I'll be able to eat without having to use the feeding tube or choking on food. Now I've done chemo and radiation and everything is all inflamed and my stomach is all kinds of messed up so I am stuck having trouble swallowing again and even if I am able to it doesn't stay down very long. I have been awfully sick. The radiology oncologist says that this will last a couple of weeks before I start getting better. In the meantime it sucks because I constantly feel sick and hungry. I guess that is a good sign. Being hungry. Just not being able to eat. Smoothies and soft foods are my go to foods right now. I can only keep counting down the days till I start to feel normal again. Or as normal as I will ever be again. 

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