Radiation

I started my radiation treatment this week. The worst side effects are the nausea and the fatigue. The fatigue is probably the worst. It amazes me how easily I become tired. Down to the bone drained. I can't do the things that I use to do. It can be very frustrating. I don't have the strength or the energy. I know that the further along in radiation that I go, the worse the effects will be. I'm not looking forward to that but I know that it's a part of the process. It brings me down though. The simple act of going to the store and walking around shopping can wear me out to the point that I have to come home and can't do anything else the rest of the day. I have to think about what I have planned the next day and see if I can manage to even do it. Tomorrow is Father's Day and I am suppose to drive out to my moms and there is a huge part of me that is just dreading the thought of it because right now I feel so exhausted and I know that tomorrow I'll probably feel the same way. I may not be so tired going out there but then when it's time to come home that I am going to be so exhausted. I also have chemo once a week that is going to wear me down. 4 weeks to go though. I am not sure what the next step after that is. Am I getting another scan? Are we heading straight to surgery. I'm not entirely sure but I am going to roll with it. I am ready for this battle to be over with. I hate how I feel. I hate how sometimes my family looks at me knowing I am so tired and weak. I want to be normal again. I know that this is all just a part of the process but it's a horrible shitty process. 

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